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08/29/2007 Entry: "Death of a Toyota"

I HAD TO LET THE GOOD OLD TOYOTA GO on Monday. Sniff, sniff. After most of a year on foot, I'd saved up enough to get it fixed -- so I thought! But what the mechanic found within ... well, it was time to say goodbye.

Couldn't figure out why I felt so wiped out afterward. After all, I hadn't driven the thing in 8-1/2 months. It wasn't as if anything had changed. Jeez, Claire I told myself, people sell cars every day. What's the big deal? But I felt as if I'd abandoned an old friend.

Then I realized, I actually had. I bought that faithful old Toyota 16 years ago when it was brand new and I was still fully within the system. It drove me to the Randy Weaver trial and later to Ruby Ridge and the site of the shootings, up a long and rutted road. It took me to visit the Desert Hermitage and to be with my former Significant Sweetie. I had it longer than I ever owned any house I've lived in, longer than I was ever in a relationship with a man. I slept in it when I couldn't get a motel room, hauled sick dogs to the vet, and carried building materials for Cabin Sweet Cabin. That truck served me with barely a hiccup for all that time. But when it went, it went.

I'm still enjoying being footloose. Perhaps next year or the year after the time will be right again to own a vehicle, and when the time is right, the right vehicle will more or less show up on my doorstep with an "Adopt Me" note pinned to its bumper. But for now, the gods, the Flow, or whatever you want to call it tell me to keep my feet on the ground and let the sun, rain, winds, and friends surround me.

I can sum up the last 8-1/2 months in one phrase: inconventient, but full of discovery and blessings. Right from wintry week one to this very sunny day.

Posted by Claire @ 05:32 PM CST

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