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"What if...?"

By Lowell Potter

If you like this story, you'll find more like it at Potter's Playground

What if it all never happened? What if we're all sitting here 20 years from now still waiting for the shit to hit the fan? What if the world never does come tumbling down and the status quo just status quo's ...what would it be like?

July 4, 2022 ....the President today saluted leaders of the Social Democrats and the Republican Socialists for a bi-partisan measure ensuring the continued funding of next year's 4th of July Government Day celebrations. President Kennedy-Strafford enthralled her small audience of hand-chosen supporters, remarking that it was reassuring to know that these new age legislators cared ever so deeply about history and honor. She said that future generations would benefit from this legislation by, "absorbing the ideals of altruistic government and domestic equality, which they could hand down to succeeding generations."

When queried, the President downplayed the significance of the clone candidate, stating that she doubted Americans were ready to cast their lots for a "plastic man" again, so soon after the Gore-Chang years. She declined to comment if she had decided to run for another 6 year term.

Kennedy-Stafford also made light of the GAO's recent report that the free-economy had officially dethroned the GNP as the world's largest economic aggregate. She promised commissions would be impaneled to investigate allegations of fraud and infiltration at the General Accounting Office, and sought to dispel fears that any interruption of entitlement checks was about to occur. Kennedy-Stafford maintained unequivocally that an event like the panic of '19, "could never happen again."

Meanwhile in Phoenix, the Arizona Gold Bank announced an agreement in principle with the Indo-Asian Internet Council and, confirming long-time speculation that the three global consortiums were poised to assume world wide prominence in real commerce, and challenge the well entrenched government franchises like worldCoke(tm) and Exxon-and-on(tm) for pre-eminence.

Across the land, except in the government sectors where charcoal is strictly forbidden, BBQ's glow much as they did in 1999. As free citizens gather and celebrate their good fortune, secure in the freedom their knowledge grants them, the flame of liberty burns white hot within -- Hot enough to burn any weinie.

© 1999 Lowell Potter

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July 28, 1999